You can take the girl out of the race, but not the race out of the girl

I know.  It's cliche.  You're allowed to use cliche statements when they're true.  The title the way it's phrased makes more sense that what I really mean: "You can take the girl out of the run, but not the run out of the girl."  I had a couple of other options for titles, but this was the most applicable.

You might have been wondering what I've been up to lately since I haven't posted in more than 3 months.  Well I moved, I'm in school full time, living out on my own again, and in a new city.  I'm only moved an hour away, but I moved far enough to be in a new County (which as a sidebar, means I got a new county sticker for my license plate.  The dork in me was way to excited for that :D ), but I digress.  There's a lot going on.  I spend 20 hours per week in class (only 17 of those are graded hours, 3 are audit hours), I work about 15 hours a week, I have homework for 17 hours, and all are upper division classes, which means the homework isn't busy work anymore, it's actual work, that involves actual thought.  Like 800 lines of code for one assignment.  Yea, no jokes over here.  Anyways, on top of all this, I'm trying to get out of debt and manage my finances on approximately 1/3 of the hours/pay I was working before I went part time.  AND then on top of all this, I'm trying not to gain weight, and when humanly possible, lose it! 

I say all this to say it's really easy to get discouraged.  Sometimes, with this much going on, something gets dropped.  And I've dropped something in just about all the areas except school (guess that says I have my priorities straight?).  I haven't been making any groundbreaking strides with paying off debt, and I didn't expect to, I just try to stay afloat and not get any further behind, and I can hit that area hard when I'm on school breaks working full time. 

However, I've been making strides in the exact wrong direction regarding my weight.  I certainly haven't had a net loss of weight since I've moved, if anything it's been a net gain.  I thought I had hit my breaking point a few weeks ago and I made a really aggressive workout schedule and eating rules.  Because that tactic has worked so well in the past.  To top it off, I calculated when I wanted to hit my goal weight.  Since that's more than 45 pounds away, that was foolish.  BY now, I should know myself well enough to know that as soon as I put a goal of a certain amount of weight loss by a certain amount of time, it becomes a head game, that I've yet to win.  So, as you might imagine, the first schedule became unused within a week.  I got upset.  And I ate.  So I decided it was too aggressive, and so I made a less aggressive schedule.  Why oh why.  That one went out the window too.  And I ate some more.  I had the nerve to feel sorry for myself.  That and I was whining that I had put on my workout schedule to workout on the elliptical.  I hate the elliptical.  Sure it's effective, but I don't enjoy it, and I maintain if you don't like your exercise, you won't do it. 

Now to the context of this post, I know that was a lot of (necessary) back story.  If I could figure out how to put jump links in this, I would, but until then, you're stuck reading the back story.  Some of you may know I've had an off again on again relationship with running.  I ran for a while, had shoulder surgery, which put me out for almost a year, and then I started running again late last year.  I made great strides, ran several 5Ks (I lost count, but they were all fun!).  Somehow it became something I had to do instead of something I wanted to do.  I had to train so I could meet a certain distance by a certain date.  Sound familiar?  (If not, refer to the paragraph above, again, I would use links....).  After one of my dreaded elliptical workouts a couple of weeks ago, I decided I wanted to take a try at running a lap around my apartment complex.  So I did, and made it all the way around.  Then came back and figured out it was 0.6 miles.  WOOT.  I didn't have to go anywhere, or pay anything.  I used resources I already had where I lived.  That and I wasn't running on any roads, I was basically running in my neighborhood.  Which was nifty.  :) And a huge confidence booster.  I still had those voices in my head that I shouldn't be running because I could injure myself (specifically my shoulder). 

Then today, I was laying in bed watching football, which is where I had been all day, I had a spark of motivation to workout.  I hadn't decided what, but I got out of bed and put my workout clothes on and decided I was going to run.  I said 1 lap.  I got to the end of the lap and felt really good, so I did another, and another.  Inside that third lap, I had the intuition that I needed to not overdo it, and that that needed to be my last lap.  That was smart.  I think I could have done another, but 1.74 miles in 22:38 (that's a 12:38 mile average) out of nowhere was pretty darn good if I do say so myself. 

While I was running, I discovered something.  I really enjoy running!  I always have really.  Just me and the road, working out whatever stress is bothering me. 

My Dad told me recently "you can't schedule your whole life".  You can imagine my initial response.  (It looked something like a 5 year old pouting, I won't lie).  But he's right!  I don't ever know what my day is going to look like.  Turns out, life doesn't just leave me alone just because I'm back in school full time.  I have to deal with life, at unexpected and sometimes downright inconvenient times.  I just need to suck it up and move on. 

So I'm not going to set up another schedule.  As crazy as this sounds, I'm not going to set specific goals.  Yes, I know that goes against everything teachers teach about goal setting.  Oh well.  I've got to make decisions right for me.  Does this mean I won't be accountable?  Absolutely not.  My goal is non-numeric, not non-existent.  It's to have a net weight loss.  NET.  Meaning, not every week will have a weight loss, but I have to do my best to make sure that it does.

No more feeling sorry for myself.  I know I've said it before, but it's the trying times when you find out what you're made of, and frankly, I'm tired of being made of wimp.  I know I'm better than that, and anyone who wants to argue can....use your imagination, but the bottom line is I'm not putting up with it, starting with me!

I found the exercise I love, and yes, there's risk of injury.  That just means I have to make the effort to make sure my shoulder is healthy, and that I don't overdo it. 

Well I think that's about enough ground breaking for one day. 

Until next time,
:)

Having the right tools makes all the difference!

The right attitude probably doesn't hurt either.

Tonight was a turning point for me.  I've been doing really poorly at tracking.  I mean really bad.  Mostly because I didn't want to have to calculate the points on everything I ate since I find it time consuming and a little frustrating not to be able to eye ball something and tell right off the bat if it's a good investment or not.  I live on the go!

So Saturday night when I found myself in my shower leaning against the wall in a fit of sobs because I felt hopeless and I knew I had had another week where I would gain weight, I knew something had to change. 

So I found another app.  It's called My Fitness Pal.  It's a free app.  It can also be used exclusively online.  With no monthly (or any kind) of fee to use.  That allows you to work offline and doesn't limit your functionality...terribly.  It also tracks weight, measurements, and all different kinds of nutrient facts.  It sets a goal amount of each nutrient per day (fat, fiber, potassium, Vitamin A, C, carbs, sugar, etc.) and you can look at where you are during the day in relation to those goals.  For instance, I know I don't eat anywhere near enough Potassium or Vitamin A or C and I eat too much fat, carbs, and sugars.  Go figure.  But I didn't know that before!  Those pieces of information are just as important as how much of what I've consumed!

I've also gone to tracking my weight daily.  It's an interesting experiment.  I weigh every morning and log it in my app.  And yes, I know that weight can fluctuate from day to day.  It's interesting for me to see what daily choices I make effect (or is it affect?  I can never remember, but I digress) not only my weight, but how I feel. 

Something I've also noticed about this app is it has a networking component in it.  You can find friends and see their updates.  So even though I don't have any "friends" on the site, when I lose weight, it posts.  When I exercise, it posts.  When I finish a day of logging food and exercise, I complete my entry, and it makes a post and either just says that I completed a log, or if I came in even 1 calorie under my goal, it says I came in under my goal.  And that's nice to see.  I can see the posts it makes about me, so I want it to make as many good feeling posts as possible, so my goal is to come in under my goal, even if by 1 calorie. 

When I complete a daily entry of food and exercise it comes up with a screen that shows me approximately where I will be weight-wise in 5 weeks if every day was like today.  I understand it's not to be taken as written in stone, as there are many factors, however, it's a fantastic motivator to see that if I work hard, I can actually see a concrete lower number on the scale over time.  CONCRETE.  That's huge!!

For exercise, once you find the exercise, you plug the minutes, and it calculates the calories automatically.  No need to perform any calculations.  Just plug in minutes.

Now back to my turning point.  In the app, I've been logging everything since Sunday.  I've come in under goal each day so far.  So today, at dinner, I had a Mike's hard lemonade.  That clocks about 220 calories, and used up my calories (after dinner of course) and I had 19 left.  So I decided I would skip ice cream, and treat my alcohol as dessert.  Good choice right?  Then I was watching TV and feeling sad that I didn't get dessert, so I got the twizzler bites out and had a serving (which turns out to have finished the bag).  Then I'm logging my dessert and toning down the serving to fit in my remaining calories.  To fit under 19 calories, turns out instead of 17 twizzler bites, I ate 2.5.  Yea right.   So I struggle with myself and log the whole thing, which puts me more than 100 calories over my goal.  Yikes!  I won't get my blurb saying I was under goal!  So I start playing with exercise numbers to see how long I would need to walk to burn off those twizzler bites.  30 minutes.  Groan, those twizzlers SO weren't worth it! 

So I hop to it, get on the treadmill for a grueling 45 minutes at 3 mph (20 minute mile), which by the way was a lot harder than it really should have been.  I burn 224 calories, come out on top, and am drenched and dripping with sweat.  It was a good feeling.

I don't think I'll have any issues moving the scale this week, but even if I don't, I've definitely achieved a non-scale VICTORY!!!

Until next time,
:)

You mean it's possible to ENJOY exercise?!?!?!

A couple of times in Weight Watchers, I've heard my leader say find an activity you ENJOY. And it's true!  If you don't enjoy it, you won't do it for very long, and you'll be miserable. 


Running made me miserable.  I really hate to admit that, since I was so into it and did it for so long, but I didn't really know anything else.  I never got the runner's high, I ran to compete with myself in terms of mileage and pace.  The whole time during my runs I was counting the minutes I had left, which is kind of sad.  But it's how you learn, and I'd like to think it wasn't ALL bad.  I did get some self confidence (and a medal, albeit a participation medal) out of it :)


Tonight I went for a walk down the street to a little park about a half mile from my house. There's a play gym and swing set in the middle.  After a loop around the track (maybe quarter mile?) I got on a swing and swung for about 5 minutes.  Talk about a leg workout!  I also noticed at the end a small twinge in my abs.  Yes, please :)


The point being, I really enjoyed it.  It was a calm walk down the street, and I feel good now.


I'm going to go finish my homework for tomorrow and go have my ice cream.  


Until next time,
:)

All the little things add up to one good week

Well my week paid off: 2.8 pounds off!  That's almost all the weight I gained last week!  


I think I'm going to lace up the tennis shoes (I use that loosely, since my shoes have no laces) and go for a walk down the street in a minute.  I've been lazy most of the day, so it will feel good to get our when it's not super hot.  


Tomorrow restarts the getting up insanely early, but the first week flew by, hopefully the next three will as well.  


I'm excited for another new week.  


I joked earlier today that I go to Weight Watchers for the stickers.  I got a sticker for weight loss, a sticker for exercising, and a bravo sticker.  My bravo sticker was for getting back on the horse and not throwing a pity party for myself.  


I'm really excited, and I'm starting to feel more toned from the exercise.  It's so exciting.  And yes, I know I'm overusing the word excited; I'm just SO excited!! :)


Until next time,
:)

What's that expression? Get back on the horse? Yea, that's it.

I know it's been a little while, so a little recap is in order.  Over the last few months, my weight slowly went up and up.  Finally, three weeks ago, I weighed in at 199.8.  I was so close to 200.  I had sworn I would never go back over 200.  I got scared into right and lost a pound the following week.  Then I started Jazzercise again, I started eating better, and last week I weighed in at a staggering 201.8.  I knew it was bad when the woman weighed me in flashed a very confused look when she saw the number.  I couldn't hold it in, I was so upset.  I was so mad at myself: how did I let it get this FAR?!?!?!  The first thing I did when I got in my car was call my boyfriend.  Who not only talked me off a ledge, but also assured me I was doing the right things, I was on the right track, and the weight gain was more than likely due to the increase in regular exercise from....well nothing, which is a very valid point, one I had not even thought of.  Sometimes it happens.  After our conversation, I was in a really good place.  Ready to pick myself up and keep going.  Which, by the way, is no easy feat.  


I would rate this week as a moderate, but not overwhelming success.  I ate a few things I wish I hadn't, and I didn't go to group exercise as much as I would have liked, but I did take a walk one night, we went bowling today, and I've spent the last two days doing laundry and cleaning OUT (not up, I went through all my belongings and threw/gave a ton of stuff away, as well as reorganizing.)  I'd be lying if I tried to deny myself from counting that as exercise.  I was working up a nice big sweat thank you!


My boyfriend has been an absolute gem through this whole thing.  Constantly encouraging me.  I'm so incredibly lucky to be with him, there are no words.  


My goals for this week: go to Jazzercise all three times.  Work out at home at least once extra, and do the stretching video I have every night (It's 15 minutes...).  Switch my Starbucks Caramel coffee drink between campus and work to a Passion tea I saw in a magazine (60 cals!), and eat more lunches at work (this would include a trip to Wal-mart tomorrow to gather supplies).  Any suggestions for a fruit/veggie that I can get that won't go bad as fast as lettuce?  I seem to waste a lot of lettuce because I can't eat it fast enough, and I like Wal-mart, but goodness, I don't want to be there daily.  :) I'm not going to set any kind of weight loss goal.  This week my calendar says will be a little unpredictable (ah hem) so I think if I do the above, I will have accomplished non-scale victories, and I need to be able to recognize and appreciate those, even when the scale may not reflect them.  


I just have to keep telling myself I can do this, and take every day one day at a time.  


Hopefully I won't wait as long before sharing next time :)


Until next time,
:)

I have to eat it all now so it won't tempt me later...

Occasionally, I get the hair-brained idea to bring something into my otherwise-controlled environment that will tempt me.  I then get this mindset of first guilt, then I think I have to devour the whole bit of whatever it was to prevent it from torturing me in the near future.  Heaven forbid I spread the goodness out so I can actually enjoy it.


Girl Scout Cookies.  'nuff said.  


:)

When you add it all up...

I got a wild hair this morning.  I decided I would look over my 2.5 years in Weight Watchers and add up all the times I lost weight and see how much I've lost total.  Not just how far I am from where I started (Which, by the way, is 28.4 pounds....went back under 30 last week and still haven't cracked 35 in months ::sigh::) but I digress.  I have 61 weeks of losses, totaling 112.6 pounds.  Which means I've done 84.2 pounds of flip-flopping.  


I've decided I'm done telling myself what I can and cannot eat.  It doesn't work.  Period.  I'm going back to basics.  You know, the tracking stuff THAT WORKS.  The absolute majority of those losses was because of tracking, which shouldn't surprise me after 2 1/2 years.  (Can you believe it?!?!?!)


I'll blog more often and let you know how it goes.  I'm running (haha) out of patience and ideas...


Until next time,
:)