I think I may have used that title before. Oh well, it's my blog, I can use it again :)
Everything's related. It's somehow connected together in the mind. For instance, my eating tendencies are tied back to my emotions and so are my driving habits.
I've had my driver's license for a little shy of 10 years. Ever since it was issued, I have been driving almost 20 over. I have received 6 tickets total: 5 speeding tickets and 1 for running a stop sign. I have been to driving school 4 times so far, I'll go at least once more for ticket #5 and 6. Hmmm. One speeding ticket and the stop sign were within 6 months of each other back when I was 16. Then in December 2010, I got a speeding ticket. December 2011 I got a speeding ticket for speeding in the same spot as the year before. Two weeks ago I got another speeding ticket FOR THE SAME SPOT. I really need to stay off that road. This morning, I got a speeding ticket on the interstate, but by the same police officer as two weeks ago. Fabulous. We laughed once we realized it. But it's not funny. I was issued a warning for speeding about a year ago. Three weeks ago, I was issued a warning for failure to obey traffic rules. I "ran" a red light turning right on red. I was turning into my apartment complex at midnight :|
The frustrating thing about the ticket today was I've been trying really, really hard to slow down to within 5 mph over the speed limit, which is really hard! I have been doing so well too! But I got caught up in the interstate traffic when I was approaching the downtown area and the speed limit dropped, that I just wasn't paying close enough attention. Okay, okay, I get it finally.
I realized my driving was a mind thing, just like my eating. It was tied to my emotional response to other drivers, just as my eating is responding to outside factors. Turns out, the world is not out to get me and I just need to calm down on the road. I think my problem started when I was late everywhere, and then it just became a habit too hard to break. Well I now get to pay for that habit, handsomely.
I've noticed over the last couple weeks experiencing personal pressure to eat more meals a day than I really need. To fit into the norm, I need to eat 3 meals a day. Or not. I've been so overstuffed, I hadn't felt physically hungry in a couple weeks. Just like slowing down, it takes constant mental effort when I FEEL like eating to ask myself "Are you ACTUALLY hungry??" If not, I get some cranberry juice and close the refrigerator. It's hard! Especially when there are brownies on the counter! It's the same effort that has to be applied to the "Do I have any MONEY to buy that whatever??" Sometimes, the un-fun answer is no, and we have to stick to that. That's part of being adult. "Children do what feels good. Adults devise a plan and follow it. " -Dave Ramsey
That doesn't just apply to money, it applies to everything, which is where the small world comes in. My plan is to discontinue giving traffic court my money, my plan to lose weight, my plan to be financially responsible. Does this mean we're perfect? Not no, hell no! I make unwise food decisions, spend money I don't have on things I don't need (or do need sometimes), and speed (trying to make this rarely instead of the standard). All I can do is try to limit the occurrences to hopefully limit the damage. I don't need to beat myself up. I just need to recognize the misstep, make steps to correct it in the future and MOVE ON.
On another awesome note: I received an e-mail from Pizza Hut with the subject: "Did you know you're great?". You know what my immediate response was? "Well, DUH!" Hehe, I love the confidence. Not arrogance, confidence :)
I started doing a Cardio Core Express DVD to work on toning where I've lost fat, and I realized that I started too late, I have some catching up to do. That's ok. When Debbie Siebers said on the DVD that I would feel that in the morning, I was like "whatever". Well I felt it the next morning! Dang! That means it's working :)
I'm going to try and shut off the brain and go to sleep. It's way past my bedtime and I have a full day tomorrow, but it's been a full day today too.
Until next time,
:)
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Accomplishments are relative to the person.
Running is a sport right? So in there somewhere, there's supposed to be a competition right? Even if it's with yourself? Wrong. At least for me. And I'm talking about me, so ta da! I think it's great to run for a new personal best or to get feedback on pace consistency. Where my problem happened was when I let it take over the reason I run in the first place: release of stress and anxiety. I can't really release a whole lot if I can only make it a mile because I'm focusing so much on my pace that I run my whole body into pain. Starts with the knee, then the hip, and I can live with those, but when my bad shoulder joins the party, I pull the plug and do so immediately. There are a lot of things I'll risk, but that's where I draw the line. Sure, I made it 1.25 miles in 13 minutes (approx. 9 min pace), but what does it matter if I'm crying in pain and I've only exercised 13 minutes?? It's just not worth it to me. It's too depressing and mentally exhausting because then the thoughts start about well maybe I need to find something else. And we all know where that will end up. I'll not do anything for 6 months until I magically take up running for the love of running again.
I ran/walked the half marathon last April. And up until now, I used to not share how long it took me and brush it off as embarrassingly slow. Well here it goes. It took me 3:45. That's 3 hours 45 minutes. And at an average of 17 minutes per mile, may be considered by some to be slow. However, I FINISHED 13.1 MILES. FINISHED. Crossed the finish line of a half marathon. Fini...you get it. :) In ONE PIECE. I am now baffled at how that's somehow embarrassing. Instead, it's a HUGE accomplishment! One I'm extremely proud of! Someday, I'd like to be able to run one. Run the whole half marathon (okay, that wording is amusing to me!). It might be a while though, because what I'm no longer going to do is sign up for races I'm not prepared for and put a training schedule in place. We see how well that worked before in all aspects of this journey. Instead, I'm going to steadily work myself up to the mileage, continuing to run for the love of the run, and only when I can run 13.1 miles on my own will I start searching for a half marathon to do. My time will come :)
So today, I went for a run in the park. This is good for 2 reasons. 1: No loop. It's out and back, so once you start, you might as well finish :) 2: I chose not to use a stopwatch, timer, GPS, etc. I was untimed. After all was said and done, I was able to reconstruct an extreme approximation from looking at when I stopped texting, but I'm only about 50% sure it's accurate, and the 50% comes from it being 3 miles in 40 minutes. I've done several 5k's in that time, so it's a reasonable time. My point is, it was FREEDOM. I was running because I wanted to be, not because I had some time to beat. I released stress and anxiety, I was untouchable. It was AWESOME. And I worked out for almost and hour PAIN FREE. To me, it just doesn't get any better! :)
The best time to go grocery shopping is after a run like that. I guarantee it's a strain to get the things on my list because food just doesn't have any appeal! That, and after you've sweat for that long and go straight to the frozen section, the sweat freezes FAST, and even I get cold! I got what I needed and got OUT. On a side note, I did finally find a pair of sweat pants that are long enough. And cute. Pretty sure it was a miracle. And they were only $9! Can we spell TRIFECTA? Well, no actually, because spell check had to of course come behind me. Me and my appetite. hehe (I spelled appetite wrong again too...of course) :)
Let's see, food. I ate poorly last week when I was on spring break. I just stopped paying attention to what was going on. BAD NEWS. I had Sonic (with a soda) for breakfast every morning and fast food for lunch every day I was at work. Then I ate dinner with dessert! I WAY overstuffed myself. First thing I did when I came home was drink a gallon of cranberry juice! Yesterday and today I've done much better. I cut myself off when necessary and worked out both days. And I already have plans to go walking with a friend tomorrow morning. I'm going to get on track by golly! I will need to put a plan of action in place by the summer, because I'm going to be in Nashville during the week every week all Summer and I can't have another week like this one. I'm thinking Lean Pocket and Green Giant are going to save my butt since they're frozen, easy to make, and easy on the body.
I've missed the last 2 weeks at Weight Watchers. 2 weeks ago because I got the times mixed up and had to be in Nashville and there were no more meetings for the week and this past week because I was working. Although if I'm going to be honest, I used work as an excuse of sorts (I did actually have legit work in the office to do) and I didn't make a very concerted effort to be there this past week because I was sure I had gained, and I knew what seeing that would do to me. It wasn't right, I should have weighed in and taken the feedback, but I feel like I did the right thing for me. Gave myself a pass and got right back up as soon as possible to make up ground to pull off something spectacular this coming Saturday.
I will work harder. I will do better. I will get back on track. And most importantly, I will not beat myself up. It was feedback enough. I took it and did something with it. Why is it necessary to see a number too? And for the love of all things, I will learn how to spell!! :)
I'm off to bed. Hopefully I'm about to get back into some kind of sleep rhythm.
Until next time,
:)
I ran/walked the half marathon last April. And up until now, I used to not share how long it took me and brush it off as embarrassingly slow. Well here it goes. It took me 3:45. That's 3 hours 45 minutes. And at an average of 17 minutes per mile, may be considered by some to be slow. However, I FINISHED 13.1 MILES. FINISHED. Crossed the finish line of a half marathon. Fini...you get it. :) In ONE PIECE. I am now baffled at how that's somehow embarrassing. Instead, it's a HUGE accomplishment! One I'm extremely proud of! Someday, I'd like to be able to run one. Run the whole half marathon (okay, that wording is amusing to me!). It might be a while though, because what I'm no longer going to do is sign up for races I'm not prepared for and put a training schedule in place. We see how well that worked before in all aspects of this journey. Instead, I'm going to steadily work myself up to the mileage, continuing to run for the love of the run, and only when I can run 13.1 miles on my own will I start searching for a half marathon to do. My time will come :)
So today, I went for a run in the park. This is good for 2 reasons. 1: No loop. It's out and back, so once you start, you might as well finish :) 2: I chose not to use a stopwatch, timer, GPS, etc. I was untimed. After all was said and done, I was able to reconstruct an extreme approximation from looking at when I stopped texting, but I'm only about 50% sure it's accurate, and the 50% comes from it being 3 miles in 40 minutes. I've done several 5k's in that time, so it's a reasonable time. My point is, it was FREEDOM. I was running because I wanted to be, not because I had some time to beat. I released stress and anxiety, I was untouchable. It was AWESOME. And I worked out for almost and hour PAIN FREE. To me, it just doesn't get any better! :)
The best time to go grocery shopping is after a run like that. I guarantee it's a strain to get the things on my list because food just doesn't have any appeal! That, and after you've sweat for that long and go straight to the frozen section, the sweat freezes FAST, and even I get cold! I got what I needed and got OUT. On a side note, I did finally find a pair of sweat pants that are long enough. And cute. Pretty sure it was a miracle. And they were only $9! Can we spell TRIFECTA? Well, no actually, because spell check had to of course come behind me. Me and my appetite. hehe (I spelled appetite wrong again too...of course) :)
Let's see, food. I ate poorly last week when I was on spring break. I just stopped paying attention to what was going on. BAD NEWS. I had Sonic (with a soda) for breakfast every morning and fast food for lunch every day I was at work. Then I ate dinner with dessert! I WAY overstuffed myself. First thing I did when I came home was drink a gallon of cranberry juice! Yesterday and today I've done much better. I cut myself off when necessary and worked out both days. And I already have plans to go walking with a friend tomorrow morning. I'm going to get on track by golly! I will need to put a plan of action in place by the summer, because I'm going to be in Nashville during the week every week all Summer and I can't have another week like this one. I'm thinking Lean Pocket and Green Giant are going to save my butt since they're frozen, easy to make, and easy on the body.
I've missed the last 2 weeks at Weight Watchers. 2 weeks ago because I got the times mixed up and had to be in Nashville and there were no more meetings for the week and this past week because I was working. Although if I'm going to be honest, I used work as an excuse of sorts (I did actually have legit work in the office to do) and I didn't make a very concerted effort to be there this past week because I was sure I had gained, and I knew what seeing that would do to me. It wasn't right, I should have weighed in and taken the feedback, but I feel like I did the right thing for me. Gave myself a pass and got right back up as soon as possible to make up ground to pull off something spectacular this coming Saturday.
I will work harder. I will do better. I will get back on track. And most importantly, I will not beat myself up. It was feedback enough. I took it and did something with it. Why is it necessary to see a number too? And for the love of all things, I will learn how to spell!! :)
I'm off to bed. Hopefully I'm about to get back into some kind of sleep rhythm.
Until next time,
:)
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