It's a small world after all

I think I may have used that title before.  Oh well, it's my blog, I can use it again :)

Everything's related.  It's somehow connected together in the mind.  For instance, my eating tendencies are tied back to my emotions and so are my driving habits.  

I've had my driver's license for a little shy of 10 years.  Ever since it was issued, I have been driving almost 20 over.  I have received 6 tickets total: 5 speeding tickets and 1 for running a stop sign.  I have been to driving school 4 times so far, I'll go at least once more for ticket #5 and 6.  Hmmm.  One speeding ticket and the stop sign were within 6 months of each other back when I was 16.  Then in December 2010, I got a speeding ticket.  December 2011 I got a speeding ticket for speeding in the same spot as the year before.  Two weeks ago I got another speeding ticket FOR THE SAME SPOT.  I really need to stay off that road.  This morning, I got a speeding ticket on the interstate, but by the same police officer as two weeks ago.  Fabulous.  We laughed once we realized it.  But it's not funny.  I was issued a warning for speeding about a year ago.  Three weeks ago, I was issued a warning for failure to obey traffic rules.  I "ran" a red light turning right on red.  I was turning into my apartment complex at midnight :|

The frustrating thing about the ticket today was I've been trying really, really hard to slow down to within 5 mph over the speed limit, which is really hard!  I have been doing so well too!  But I got caught up in the interstate traffic when I was approaching the downtown area and the speed limit dropped, that I just wasn't paying close enough attention.  Okay, okay, I get it finally.  

I realized my driving was a mind thing, just like my eating.  It was tied to my emotional response to other drivers, just as my eating is responding to outside factors.  Turns out, the world is not out to get me and I just need to calm down on the road.  I think my problem started when I was late everywhere, and then it just became a habit too hard to break.  Well I now get to pay for that habit, handsomely.  

I've noticed over the last couple weeks experiencing personal pressure to eat more meals a day than I really need.  To fit into the norm, I need to eat 3 meals a day.  Or not.  I've been so overstuffed, I hadn't felt physically hungry in a couple weeks.  Just like slowing down, it takes constant mental effort when I FEEL like eating to ask myself "Are you ACTUALLY hungry??"  If not, I get some cranberry juice and close the refrigerator.  It's hard!  Especially when there are brownies on the counter!  It's the same effort that has to be applied to the "Do I have any MONEY to buy that whatever??"  Sometimes, the un-fun answer is no, and we have to stick to that.  That's part of being adult.  "Children do what feels good.  Adults devise a plan and follow it. " -Dave Ramsey

That doesn't just apply to money, it applies to everything, which is where the small world comes in.  My plan is to discontinue giving traffic court my money, my plan to lose weight, my plan to be financially responsible.  Does this mean we're perfect?  Not no, hell no!  I make unwise food decisions, spend money I don't have on things I don't need (or do need sometimes), and speed (trying to make this rarely instead of the standard).  All I can do is try to limit the occurrences to hopefully limit the damage.  I don't need to beat myself up.  I just need to recognize the misstep, make steps to correct it in the future and MOVE ON.  

On another awesome note: I received an e-mail from Pizza Hut with the subject: "Did you know you're great?".  You know what my immediate response was?  "Well, DUH!"  Hehe, I love the confidence.  Not arrogance, confidence :)

I started doing a Cardio Core Express DVD to work on toning where I've lost fat, and I realized that I started too late, I have some catching up to do.  That's ok.  When Debbie Siebers said on the DVD that I would feel that in the morning, I was like "whatever".  Well I felt it the next morning!  Dang!  That means it's working :)

I'm going to try and shut off the brain and go to sleep.  It's way past my bedtime and I have a full day tomorrow, but it's been a full day today too.

Until next time,
:)