Running is a sport right? So in there somewhere, there's supposed to be a competition right? Even if it's with yourself? Wrong. At least for me. And I'm talking about me, so ta da! I think it's great to run for a new personal best or to get feedback on pace consistency. Where my problem happened was when I let it take over the reason I run in the first place: release of stress and anxiety. I can't really release a whole lot if I can only make it a mile because I'm focusing so much on my pace that I run my whole body into pain. Starts with the knee, then the hip, and I can live with those, but when my bad shoulder joins the party, I pull the plug and do so immediately. There are a lot of things I'll risk, but that's where I draw the line. Sure, I made it 1.25 miles in 13 minutes (approx. 9 min pace), but what does it matter if I'm crying in pain and I've only exercised 13 minutes?? It's just not worth it to me. It's too depressing and mentally exhausting because then the thoughts start about well maybe I need to find something else. And we all know where that will end up. I'll not do anything for 6 months until I magically take up running for the love of running again.
I ran/walked the half marathon last April. And up until now, I used to not share how long it took me and brush it off as embarrassingly slow. Well here it goes. It took me 3:45. That's 3 hours 45 minutes. And at an average of 17 minutes per mile, may be considered by some to be slow. However, I FINISHED 13.1 MILES. FINISHED. Crossed the finish line of a half marathon. Fini...you get it. :) In ONE PIECE. I am now baffled at how that's somehow embarrassing. Instead, it's a HUGE accomplishment! One I'm extremely proud of! Someday, I'd like to be able to run one. Run the whole half marathon (okay, that wording is amusing to me!). It might be a while though, because what I'm no longer going to do is sign up for races I'm not prepared for and put a training schedule in place. We see how well that worked before in all aspects of this journey. Instead, I'm going to steadily work myself up to the mileage, continuing to run for the love of the run, and only when I can run 13.1 miles on my own will I start searching for a half marathon to do. My time will come :)
So today, I went for a run in the park. This is good for 2 reasons. 1: No loop. It's out and back, so once you start, you might as well finish :) 2: I chose not to use a stopwatch, timer, GPS, etc. I was untimed. After all was said and done, I was able to reconstruct an extreme approximation from looking at when I stopped texting, but I'm only about 50% sure it's accurate, and the 50% comes from it being 3 miles in 40 minutes. I've done several 5k's in that time, so it's a reasonable time. My point is, it was FREEDOM. I was running because I wanted to be, not because I had some time to beat. I released stress and anxiety, I was untouchable. It was AWESOME. And I worked out for almost and hour PAIN FREE. To me, it just doesn't get any better! :)
The best time to go grocery shopping is after a run like that. I guarantee it's a strain to get the things on my list because food just doesn't have any appeal! That, and after you've sweat for that long and go straight to the frozen section, the sweat freezes FAST, and even I get cold! I got what I needed and got OUT. On a side note, I did finally find a pair of sweat pants that are long enough. And cute. Pretty sure it was a miracle. And they were only $9! Can we spell TRIFECTA? Well, no actually, because spell check had to of course come behind me. Me and my appetite. hehe (I spelled appetite wrong again too...of course) :)
Let's see, food. I ate poorly last week when I was on spring break. I just stopped paying attention to what was going on. BAD NEWS. I had Sonic (with a soda) for breakfast every morning and fast food for lunch every day I was at work. Then I ate dinner with dessert! I WAY overstuffed myself. First thing I did when I came home was drink a gallon of cranberry juice! Yesterday and today I've done much better. I cut myself off when necessary and worked out both days. And I already have plans to go walking with a friend tomorrow morning. I'm going to get on track by golly! I will need to put a plan of action in place by the summer, because I'm going to be in Nashville during the week every week all Summer and I can't have another week like this one. I'm thinking Lean Pocket and Green Giant are going to save my butt since they're frozen, easy to make, and easy on the body.
I've missed the last 2 weeks at Weight Watchers. 2 weeks ago because I got the times mixed up and had to be in Nashville and there were no more meetings for the week and this past week because I was working. Although if I'm going to be honest, I used work as an excuse of sorts (I did actually have legit work in the office to do) and I didn't make a very concerted effort to be there this past week because I was sure I had gained, and I knew what seeing that would do to me. It wasn't right, I should have weighed in and taken the feedback, but I feel like I did the right thing for me. Gave myself a pass and got right back up as soon as possible to make up ground to pull off something spectacular this coming Saturday.
I will work harder. I will do better. I will get back on track. And most importantly, I will not beat myself up. It was feedback enough. I took it and did something with it. Why is it necessary to see a number too? And for the love of all things, I will learn how to spell!! :)
I'm off to bed. Hopefully I'm about to get back into some kind of sleep rhythm.
Until next time,
:)
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