I know. It's cliche. You're allowed to use cliche statements when they're true. The title the way it's phrased makes more sense that what I really mean: "You can take the girl out of the run, but not the run out of the girl." I had a couple of other options for titles, but this was the most applicable.
You might have been wondering what I've been up to lately since I haven't posted in more than 3 months. Well I moved, I'm in school full time, living out on my own again, and in a new city. I'm only moved an hour away, but I moved far enough to be in a new County (which as a sidebar, means I got a new county sticker for my license plate. The dork in me was way to excited for that :D ), but I digress. There's a lot going on. I spend 20 hours per week in class (only 17 of those are graded hours, 3 are audit hours), I work about 15 hours a week, I have homework for 17 hours, and all are upper division classes, which means the homework isn't busy work anymore, it's actual work, that involves actual thought. Like 800 lines of code for one assignment. Yea, no jokes over here. Anyways, on top of all this, I'm trying to get out of debt and manage my finances on approximately 1/3 of the hours/pay I was working before I went part time. AND then on top of all this, I'm trying not to gain weight, and when humanly possible, lose it!
I say all this to say it's really easy to get discouraged. Sometimes, with this much going on, something gets dropped. And I've dropped something in just about all the areas except school (guess that says I have my priorities straight?). I haven't been making any groundbreaking strides with paying off debt, and I didn't expect to, I just try to stay afloat and not get any further behind, and I can hit that area hard when I'm on school breaks working full time.
However, I've been making strides in the exact wrong direction regarding my weight. I certainly haven't had a net loss of weight since I've moved, if anything it's been a net gain. I thought I had hit my breaking point a few weeks ago and I made a really aggressive workout schedule and eating rules. Because that tactic has worked so well in the past. To top it off, I calculated when I wanted to hit my goal weight. Since that's more than 45 pounds away, that was foolish. BY now, I should know myself well enough to know that as soon as I put a goal of a certain amount of weight loss by a certain amount of time, it becomes a head game, that I've yet to win. So, as you might imagine, the first schedule became unused within a week. I got upset. And I ate. So I decided it was too aggressive, and so I made a less aggressive schedule. Why oh why. That one went out the window too. And I ate some more. I had the nerve to feel sorry for myself. That and I was whining that I had put on my workout schedule to workout on the elliptical. I hate the elliptical. Sure it's effective, but I don't enjoy it, and I maintain if you don't like your exercise, you won't do it.
Now to the context of this post, I know that was a lot of (necessary) back story. If I could figure out how to put jump links in this, I would, but until then, you're stuck reading the back story. Some of you may know I've had an off again on again relationship with running. I ran for a while, had shoulder surgery, which put me out for almost a year, and then I started running again late last year. I made great strides, ran several 5Ks (I lost count, but they were all fun!). Somehow it became something I had to do instead of something I wanted to do. I had to train so I could meet a certain distance by a certain date. Sound familiar? (If not, refer to the paragraph above, again, I would use links....). After one of my dreaded elliptical workouts a couple of weeks ago, I decided I wanted to take a try at running a lap around my apartment complex. So I did, and made it all the way around. Then came back and figured out it was 0.6 miles. WOOT. I didn't have to go anywhere, or pay anything. I used resources I already had where I lived. That and I wasn't running on any roads, I was basically running in my neighborhood. Which was nifty. :) And a huge confidence booster. I still had those voices in my head that I shouldn't be running because I could injure myself (specifically my shoulder).
Then today, I was laying in bed watching football, which is where I had been all day, I had a spark of motivation to workout. I hadn't decided what, but I got out of bed and put my workout clothes on and decided I was going to run. I said 1 lap. I got to the end of the lap and felt really good, so I did another, and another. Inside that third lap, I had the intuition that I needed to not overdo it, and that that needed to be my last lap. That was smart. I think I could have done another, but 1.74 miles in 22:38 (that's a 12:38 mile average) out of nowhere was pretty darn good if I do say so myself.
While I was running, I discovered something. I really enjoy running! I always have really. Just me and the road, working out whatever stress is bothering me.
My Dad told me recently "you can't schedule your whole life". You can imagine my initial response. (It looked something like a 5 year old pouting, I won't lie). But he's right! I don't ever know what my day is going to look like. Turns out, life doesn't just leave me alone just because I'm back in school full time. I have to deal with life, at unexpected and sometimes downright inconvenient times. I just need to suck it up and move on.
So I'm not going to set up another schedule. As crazy as this sounds, I'm not going to set specific goals. Yes, I know that goes against everything teachers teach about goal setting. Oh well. I've got to make decisions right for me. Does this mean I won't be accountable? Absolutely not. My goal is non-numeric, not non-existent. It's to have a net weight loss. NET. Meaning, not every week will have a weight loss, but I have to do my best to make sure that it does.
No more feeling sorry for myself. I know I've said it before, but it's the trying times when you find out what you're made of, and frankly, I'm tired of being made of wimp. I know I'm better than that, and anyone who wants to argue can....use your imagination, but the bottom line is I'm not putting up with it, starting with me!
I found the exercise I love, and yes, there's risk of injury. That just means I have to make the effort to make sure my shoulder is healthy, and that I don't overdo it.
Well I think that's about enough ground breaking for one day.
Until next time,
:)
