SCHMACK! Yes, it sounds like that. Part of feeling feelings is being vulnerable to them in the first place. By the way, the very idea is just gross...but I'm doing it. And so sometimes that means that I get to experience unexplainable joy. The kind of joy that makes you want to wake up in the morning. It's that way a lot of the time. I'm just a happy person. But there are also times that life just kind of stinks. And in the same way I've allowed the feelings of joy, I also have to allow those other feelings.
Most of my running motivation comes from being a few different things: angry, anxious, happy, those are a few. Sadness isn't one of them. Most of the time I have to allow the sadness to run its course, then go run to cheer myself up, and it always works. But I'm not eating my feelings (ANY OF THEM) anymore :)
I just completed 3 straight months of net weight losses. Meaning each month since November, over the month, I have had a net weight loss. 5 lbs in November, 7.2 in December, and 3.2 in January. I lost 2.4 last week, making my total lost so far a nice, round 35!
I'm so excited! I'm more than halfway there! I can ALMOST see the end of the tunnel. I feel great! And I get noticed. It's so much fun. I used to hide from it, but now I'm basking in it and using it as motivation to push forward. I got checked out at the gym today, and what a confidence booster :)
Today has just been a roller-coaster of different kinds of joy! I met with a career counselor at school because I was really having a crisis of "Is the major I'm in going to get me on the right career track?" I mean it was almost at panic attack level. I was hyperventilating and everything. I had some major trouble with a couple of my major classes last semester. And that really freaked me out, because I didn't enjoy those classes one bit, and I'm supposed to enjoy every class in my beloved major right? Well, apparently not. What happened? He took a look at the classes I had left and we talked a good bit about what I really wanted to do and he said I hit a speed bump, and the classes I had left would be great. And I was in the right major and on the right path, and that I'm destined for great things! I'm so relieved!! That's kind of what I thought it was, but confirmation is always a lovely thing! The part where this tidbit effects (affects???) this blog? I did not eat the panic attack. It was really tempting. I didn't drink it either. I vented (probably talked people's ears off) and paced, but didn't eat. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment