When you realize you're starting OVER

Four years ago, almost exactly, I stood on a scale in my doctor's office.  It was the highest number I had ever seen on the scale and I didn't know what to say about it.  Sure I could come up with excuses.  The medicine I had been on started a downhill snowball into eating myself huge (at least to me).  Bad relationships, good relationships, no relationships, all catalysts.  Living alone, having a roommate: catalysts.  I still remember the days when I could pop two bags of extra butter popcorn and eat both at the same time along with an entire bag of chocolate chips.  And not get sick.  

Back 4 years ago when I stood in my doctor's office I weighted 228 and he told me I was in danger.  Danger of all kinds of health problems.  High blood pressure, diabetes to begin with.  That I had to lose a lot of weight.  And fast.  

So I did, I lost almost 50 pounds in 2 years.  (yay!)

Then in the last two years the same catalysts arrived.  Bad relationship: check.  GREAT relationship: check (current one...).  Bad bad roommates, good roommates.  I had it all.  

A week ago, I stood in my doctor's office once again.  And the scale read 218.  My blood pressure was 148/88 for the second time in a week.  I do not have high blood pressure.  Or at least I didn't before I gained the weight back.  I'm sluggish and everything hurts.  I'm starting over.  

I just went online and renewed my meeting subscription.  I picked an Monday evening meeting I'll start attending tomorrow night.  It's on a night I'm not likely to have anything else.  

I read an article recently click here (opens in new window).  It's an eye opener.  I had one of those moments when we had family over recently.  There were pictures everywhere.  

So cheers to starting over.  And a new year.  Whee.

Until next time,
:)