Hope and a safe place go a long way

I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting last night.  When I walked in the group leader made me feel welcome, and didn't beat me up about rejoining (like I was in my head).  She welcomed me back and got me everything I need to get started.  

I forgot how safe I feel in Weight Watchers meetings.  How OK I am.  No one is there to judge me.  We're all in the same boat, and we're all there to support each other.  And boy what a difference that support makes.  You face a challenge, more than likely someone else has too and can offer guidance.  

The main thing I got from the meeting was hope.  I hit rock bottom, but I will reocver.  I am strong.  I will overcome the weight.  It will not end me.  

After the meeting I sat with the leader and went through the intro materials.  Even though she was busy and it was the end of her day, I got the impression she would have sat there all night with me if it would have helped.  

This morning I had scrambled cheesy eggs on top of low calorie toast with low fat cream cheese and a tomato.  Surprisingly YUMMY.  For lunch I had a morningstar farms sundried tomato basil hamburger patty on the sandwich thins.  And a tomato. Minimal effort for both meals, healthy and yummy.  I'm thinking baked potato for diner yummmmm.  Now I wish the weather would warm up so I can get back to my free outdoors exercise!  (RUNNING)

I can do this.

I will do this.  

I will overcome this.

And I will stop typing one sentence per paragraph.

Or maybe not. :)

Until next time,

:)

When you realize you're starting OVER

Four years ago, almost exactly, I stood on a scale in my doctor's office.  It was the highest number I had ever seen on the scale and I didn't know what to say about it.  Sure I could come up with excuses.  The medicine I had been on started a downhill snowball into eating myself huge (at least to me).  Bad relationships, good relationships, no relationships, all catalysts.  Living alone, having a roommate: catalysts.  I still remember the days when I could pop two bags of extra butter popcorn and eat both at the same time along with an entire bag of chocolate chips.  And not get sick.  

Back 4 years ago when I stood in my doctor's office I weighted 228 and he told me I was in danger.  Danger of all kinds of health problems.  High blood pressure, diabetes to begin with.  That I had to lose a lot of weight.  And fast.  

So I did, I lost almost 50 pounds in 2 years.  (yay!)

Then in the last two years the same catalysts arrived.  Bad relationship: check.  GREAT relationship: check (current one...).  Bad bad roommates, good roommates.  I had it all.  

A week ago, I stood in my doctor's office once again.  And the scale read 218.  My blood pressure was 148/88 for the second time in a week.  I do not have high blood pressure.  Or at least I didn't before I gained the weight back.  I'm sluggish and everything hurts.  I'm starting over.  

I just went online and renewed my meeting subscription.  I picked an Monday evening meeting I'll start attending tomorrow night.  It's on a night I'm not likely to have anything else.  

I read an article recently click here (opens in new window).  It's an eye opener.  I had one of those moments when we had family over recently.  There were pictures everywhere.  

So cheers to starting over.  And a new year.  Whee.

Until next time,
:)